Friday, June 29, 2012

10 things I learned in Hong Kong

1. Skinny is the new black. If I had the face, I'd be a plus-size model in Hong Kong. I may be a size 0 in the States, but these ladies would be swimming in a double 0. If you're into slightly too skinny? These girls are pretty damn gorgeous whereas the guys can't even compare.  I'll be honest and say that if I lived in Hong Kong, I'd totally swing for the other team. As Junjun would point out though, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. Similar styles, haircuts, makeup, and even faces. All Asians look the same... and no, I don't care if I sound racist.

2. Skinny is the new black -- for guys, too. If you're looking for a guy to swing you over his shoulder and bring you back to his place caveman style? Look elsewhere. Not saying any guy needs to be able to do that, but having that option would be nice in terms of selection. To be fair, Hong Kong guys are well dressed and fairly good looking...if you're into Korean boy bands and/or urban hipsters. These guys have clothing and accessories down to an art -- mixing the best of Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and European styles. Whether they have the personalities to match that --- well, that's up to you to decide.

3. People's weight makes no sense. Hong Kong has some of the best selection of food I've seen of any city. How the FUCK do these people stay so skinny? For a truly cultural experience, trek it to a university campus (or by the Hong Kong Heritage Museum) for some quick and dirty dim sum, fried pigeons, chilled tofu dessert, or wonton soup. If you're particularly daring? Chicken feet is always a favorite.

4. Shop 'til you drop. In the last few second after writing that last point I realized that the reason everyone's so skinny is because shopping is a complete workout. There's just simply too many places to choose from and a price range for any type of budget. High end designer pieces can be found within 100 feet of street markets where haggling is a way of life. Hong Kong also makes it completely impossible to go through a day without walking through or passing by a mall. They're in the subways, by your school, and around the corner. Big brother on crack, essentially. Did I mention there's no tax? Even at Armani, Calvin Klein, DKNY, or Burberry? Dangerous. Prepared to be broke as a joke.

5. English will get you anywhere. Speaking English can get you (or anyone else for that matter) into any night club. Drop a New York accent to get bonus points.

6. Picking up girls at a bar must be the most financially draining endeavor for guys. Our tab at Beijing Club? 327 HKD (that's roughly $42.50)... that was for three silver tequila shots... That's disgusting.

7. Cleavage is a no go. Especially as an Asian girl. Prepare for stares and a lot of come-ons in some places. Westerners (i.e. white people) won't be harassed nearly as much. Why is that? The perpetrators? Mainly East Asian and South Asian men actually. Am I generalizing? Yes. But it'd be a lie of omission if I left out that observation.

8. Everyone's directionally challenged. Everyone drives on the left side of the road, but foot traffic is a mess. Escalators go up on the right side, yet walking down into the metros? Keep left. When crossing the street, prepare to see your life flash before your eyes -- or just a beautiful green Bentley. On a related note, I'd learn to drive stick with my left hand just so that I could take some of the cars I saw in HK for a spin. Being a valet for any hotel on Nathan Road would be pretty damn sweet.

9. Everyone's language confused. English, Cantonese, and Mandarin. Take your pick. There's also just as many tourists milling around the city. So, if you're really lost? Look for a tour-guide with the country flag you need for directions in a specific language. I was never at a lack for Vietnamese tour guides.

10. Bring an umbrella. For both the rain and the water dripping from buildings lined with AC units. And if you really want to fit in, bring it for the sun. Whitening cream is a close second to sun block when it comes to necessities of an Asian girl.

I'll sum up by saying -- I could live in Hong Kong for a few years, but not forever. It has the best of both worlds; the east and west, history and novelty, lush mountains and tall skyscrapers, foreigners and locals, with just a splash of anarchy. But... at the end of the day, I think I'd end up just as schizophrenic as the city.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Modern Love I

Soundtrack: Modern Love - Matt Nathanson



She said this talking
Kind of wears me out
And all these salesmen
Baby, make me tired


They're no good, to tell you the truth, she said
I've been gettin' used to liars
They send me love songs
, with store bought words

They make promises, like politicians
We stumble
And disconnect
Over and over again


This modern love is not enough
She said, watch your back
I'm nobody's girlfriend

This modern love is not enough

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
They said one big exhale never did me no -- good


I'd let em in, I
Oh man, I'd let 'em win
I'd burn my house down
Just to hear them scream my name
I've carried hopes
And heavy daydreams she said
But I'm done with sleeping

Take the phone calls
Take this circus
Take the drama, cause baby it's worthless


This modern love is not enough
She said, watch your back
I'm nobody's girlfriend
This modern love is not enough
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
They said one big exhale never did me no, good
One big exhale never did me no good


------------------
Let's be honest, this song should have been my theme song for the last two years; two years of which I never spent more than three consecutive months at a time in the United States.

If you know me, even just a little bit, you'll know that I'd make a terrible girlfriend. Between my wanderlust, inability to commit, and workaholic tendencies... it'd be terrible to date me. Trust me. 

"... it's impossible to date you."
"if things were different... if we were in the same place...."
"you're only goal is to travel the world and.... "

"... you're not the type to settle down..."
"you're not running from anything this time right?"

"stay still, for just a second..."


Is it always my fault?To tell you the truth? It's almost reassuring at times that I'm the one at fault for all the failed attempts at romance. I owed no one allegiance, loyalty, commitment, or trust. No excuses. No reasons for my inability to stay in touch. No explanation for this overwhelming desire to keep moving forward, faster, flying. Life flows by. No pain, no regrets.

To meander aimlessly through lighted city streets, up mountain paths, or down airplane aisles. To flip through my passport with passing fancies about my next destination. To spend time with friends - city to city - one adventure after the next. Flings and friendships formed, without a thought as to whether we'll both be in each other's tomorrow. Freedom to flirt and enjoy a stranger's conversation, to fall in 'love' simply for the chase. To pick myself up again during a game of tag and run. I wasn't necessarily running away from attachments, I just never stayed long enough in one place to form anything significant.

I was happy by myself, truly.


"I'm not looking for a relationship..."
"I don't want a boyfriend..."
"I can't have anything serious..."


When did those words start to slip so easily off my tongue? Some time between China and France, most likely some time mid-flight over the Pacific or at a layover in Kuala Lumpur. During a sunset over the mountains of Borneo or mid-cigarette in September.

Just because I was up front with my intentions, doesn't free myself from all blame. Just because I was honest, never meant I was left without a sense of guilt. I'm nobody's girlfriend. Right? I thought.

Chalk it up to self-preservation. If I keep traveling then it's not me, it was the situation. Neither person was to blame. If we like each other, why not? Right. Isn't that enough? I thought.

Heartbreaker, player, flirt, tease, and more than once? "undateable". Right. I thought.

Another summer in Taiwan can't prove me wrong. Right? I thought.

But now? I'm tampering with thoughts as I tread, slowly sink, and become totally engulfed. There is no good reason. At this point in our lives, we're not meant to be in relationships. Right. I thought.

------------------
So...where do I even start in approaching a situation where -- say, I actually enjoy someone's company -- long enough to form some attachment?

Good question.